Finding Confidence Without Dad by Tony Polous

Finding confidence in yourself in todays world is quite the challenge and trying to find it without the help of a father or father figure is almost impossible.  In 1 John 2:13 one of the father’s jobs is to protect their children from the evil one. So, when the father leaves the home it leaves the child that much more vulnerable to attacks from Satan who is called the evil one. We know John is talking to earthly fathers because he uses the Greek word “patēr” which means a male ancestor. One of the ways that fathers can protect their child from Satan is to grow their confidence and help them build their own identity.
For me, growing up with occasional visits with my dad helped my confidence in ways that really stand out. I think that no matter who you are while you are young, you want to have a person that is just like you.  It gives you some clarity about who you are as a person or your identity. At the same time, I can also see how not having a father figure affected how I developed confidence. After my dad left, when I was a preteen, it really changed everything because I started basing my confidence on my accomplishments. Those accomplishments were trying to be the best at everything no matter what it was sports, tests, or even video games. I became very competitive and I thought it was boosting my confidence but it was just boosting my ego. That path only leads you to a huge ego and pride which is not healthy for a Christian.  A healthy balance of confidence without a dad can only be attained by digging into Scripture. I cannot express how vital Scripture is to developing confidence. Many times having confidence in yourself gives you a peace of mind which then allows you to not have to worry about your self-worth. That is the same exact thing that Paul talks about in Romans 5 when he says, “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:” What Paul is saying here is that the only way for us to have true peace in life is through Jesus Christ. In the second verse, he says we can “rejoice in hope” and the Greek word that Paul uses is the word “elpis” which means “joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation.” The hope referred to here is a different type of hope it is eternal hope it is one that never changes just like the God who gave it to us.
I believe that if you are fatherless that the only way to have true and healthy confidence is in God and the only way to have confidence in God is through not just reading of scripture but also the application of it.  If we take and apply what Paul is saying to us in chapter five of Romans we will have experienced true confidence. This is what Paul is saying in verses 4-6 “And patience, experience; and experience, hope And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” I can remember learning all this and the weight it lifted because it taught me that if I find my confidence in myself and my own merit that it will never be enough. Once we find our identity in Christ it changes everything.
-Tony Polous
Tony is an intern and contributor to God is my Dad.  Click here to find out more about him.